Don’t Let the Doorknob Hitcha, Hudson Valley Second-Home Buyers

Every once in a while, some news site will run an article about alternatives to the Hamptons for second-home owners. Litchfield, Connecticut? Fire Island? Jersey Sh—sorry, we can’t even finish that without cracking up. The implication always is that buyers are fed up with those snotty rich Hamptonites and they found somewhere just as good and cheaper, so there.

This time it’s an article in Business Insider about second-home buyers choosing the Hudson Valley for, um, some reasons. It’s cheaper, sure. There’s probably more parking outside the Kingston Walmart than at Red Horse Market. There’s less traffic in the Catskills and more cows. Mountains, if you like mountains, and who wants to enjoy a world-class Hamptons beach when they could be tubing on the Esopus?

Sotheby’s agent Richard Ellis, from Nyack, told Business Insider, “People who buy on our side of the river are not ‘keeping up the Joneses,’ so to speak. They’re looking to impress themselves, not others.” Gee, thanks for implying that everyone in the Hamptons is only out to impress everyone else. (A trait that is, of course, unique to the Hamptons.)

Yes, we admit, there are some decent restaurants upstate and the quiet is pretty nice. But why on earth does it always have to be a competition? We’re, of course, biased, but the Hamptons is number one for a reason: it’s stunningly beautiful with gorgeous ocean beaches, serene bay beaches, and tranquil ponds, along with beautiful homes, world-class restaurants, and everything else. If someone prefers Fire Island, hey, enjoy—we quite like Fire Island too. Just not as much as the Hamptons.

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